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Radar

The Best Doctor

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I thought this email was pretty funny.

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

>>

>>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this

>>true?

>>

>>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't

>>waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up

>>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can

>>extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?

>>Take a nap.

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

>>

>>A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay

>>and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more

>>than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

>>Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass

>>(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your

>>recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

>>

>>A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,

>>that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even

>>more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms

>>up!

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

>>

>>A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to

>>one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular

>>exercise program?

>>

>>A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No

>>Pain...Good!

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

>>

>>A: You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable

>>oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more

>>vegetables be bad for you?

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the

>>middle?

>>

>>A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You

>>should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

>>

>>A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best

>>feel-good food around!!

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

>>

>>A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

>>

>>A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !

>>

>>

>>

>>________________________________

>>

>>Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had

>>about food and diets.

>>

>>And remember:

>>"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of

>>arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather

>>to skid in sideways - Alcohol in one hand - chocolate in the other -

>>body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "WOO HOO,

>>What a Ride!"

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ROLF!!!:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

thats funny!

*thoughtfully*Reminds me of me.:hmm: I don't remember writing this.

:eek: It must have been my good twin!!

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